Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
