your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Success! We fucked roommates!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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