I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
