im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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