I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I could fuck to npr.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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