if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
