hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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