from now on my penis is your penis
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
