it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
