my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
