you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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