my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
