I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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