This dress was meant to end up on your floor
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize