he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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