So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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