Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize