puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
