It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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