So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
