oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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