Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
