the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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