I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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