I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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