absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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