i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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