4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
