It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
