How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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