no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
