maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
