Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
