I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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