I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We are all done wearing pants today
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
