I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
