I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
