so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
