I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
