I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
