Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I looked at my own cervix.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
This toilet bowl is my home.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
