i may or may not be watching the land before time
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
