I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
