I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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