It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
