apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Welp...herpes.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
