she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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