i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
