guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
