Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he was CRYING into my vagina
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Randomize
