Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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