2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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