ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
