no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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