you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
