There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
