I feel like abortions should bother me more
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
