i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We are two peas in an std pod
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
