Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
