Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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