Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
